Random Ramblings #13

I should title this one In Which I Whine.  I know I don’t get around to updates and ramblings very often, but lately it’s been because I’m just so blah!  No energy whatsoever.  Until recently I had thought it had to do with change of life stuff.  I’m still pretty young (45), but it seems I’ve been in perimenopause for the last year or so.  And my symptoms keep getting worse and worse.

This post is not to make anyone uncomfortable or to bore you.  It’s to let other women out there know You Are Not Alone!  I’m thankful every day that I have one of my sisters-in-law to talk to who is going through a lot of the same things I am.  It sucks she has to go through it, too.  But it helps me to feel no so alone.  Every woman’s experience is different.  Some have no symptoms at all and – BAM – no more menses.  Some have severe issues with their heart and blood pressure.  I’d say I’m about middle of the road.  It’s not fun, but I’m getting by.  Sometimes I think I’m going crazy or even exaggerating how I actually feel.  Then I think, “Damn it, I KNOW how I feel. Screw anyone who thinks otherwise.”

As well as having someone to talk to in my sis-in-law, my husband is beyond patient with me and my wild mood swings.  Sheesh! I thought I had mood swings during PMS before.  Now they are off the charts intense.  And there’s a little voice inside me telling me I’m overreacting, but I can’t seem to stop myself.  Then I crash and start sobbing.  Ugh!

So, for the first time in over 20 years, I picked up a prescription of birth control pills yesterday.  Low dose to even out my hormones…we hope.  Fingers crossed this works.  There’s a bonus to this though.  I’m to skip the sugar pills so I should be skipping my period!  For the last couple of years my cycle has been about 3 weeks…sometimes less, a few times I even skipped and went almost 2 months (while still getting the PMS symptomes).  So it’ll be nice to get a break from all that and not have the “will I or won’t I” worry when I leave the house.

Any tips or tricks would be great if you’ve gone through this.  Or if you want a safe, judgement-free place to vent your own frustrations I’d be happy to listen.  As you may be able to tell, I will fully understand having to get your feelings of this crappy time of life out instead of letting it fester inside.

I have to mention, as I wrap this up, that my books have been one of my saving graces during all of this.  When I’m too tired to empty the dishwasher or my cramps have me curled in a ball or I’m just in a general funk, I open a book and lose myself for a bit.  And it’s magical.